


my heart like a sea of lights

by meggiewrites



Series: the someone waiting for me [4]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Just Married, M/M, Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 20:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20495138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggiewrites/pseuds/meggiewrites
Summary: Kathleen is gaping at Manu as if he just declared his early retirement. Manu, in turn, awkwardly fiddles with the sleeve of his training shirt.Or, Manu and Thomas eloped. Turns out they didn’t quite think the consequences through.





	my heart like a sea of lights

**Author's Note:**

> Unofficially, this is very much a gift for Martha – officially, that would maybe seem a bit odd as she's the co-author of this series ashkajs (but trust me – this one is for you, bubba ♡) I love the moment we realized this could actually be a proper series, and I'm so so happy it is :')
> 
> Also this is the first thing I've actually properly written since about ... April, that actually gets to see the light. Which feels odd. I think my writing style is a bit different here, too, but I hope it works out! Enjoy ^^

“You did what!?”

Kathleen is staring at Manu as if he just declared his early retirement. Manu, in turn, awkwardly fiddles with the sleeve of his training shirt. His boots make scratching noises on the laminated floors, and the noise is way too loud in the silence of their manager’s office.

Originally, Manu had wanted Thomas there when he told her. Actually, ideally, _ Thomas _ would have been the one telling her. He lets out a jittery sigh.

“Um. We got married. Thommy and I.”

This provokes only more gaping from Kathleen. In her defence, Manu didn’t expect any other reaction; after all, almost no one at the club has any idea Thomas and him are anything more than merely colleagues.

“Married.”

Manu nods. Shuffles his feet.

“You and Thomas.”

He nods again, growing more uncomfortable with the second. Their team manager breathes out slowly, then shakes her head to herself. She runs her hand over her head, fiddling with the tie of her ponytail. Then, she looks at Manu again.

“Congratulations.” Now, Manu is the one left gaping. She chuckles. “I’m sure you will tell me in a second why you let me in on that secret – but yes. Congratulations. I really had no idea, but I can see why you two make a great couple.”

Manu fidgets.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, lowering his eyes to the ground. Suddenly, the fleck of grass on his left boot becomes extremely interesting as his wedding ring feels heavy around his finger.

“Now.” Kathleen leans back against her desk, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Why did you want to tell me? I’m sure there was a specific reason.”

Manu takes a deep breath. It feels shaky. It feels like talking about something he’s absolutely giddy about, but afraid of anyone finding the truth out at the same time. He doesn’t want to tell her – but yet, he really would like to be able to tell everyone. Sadly, he is here for the opposite though.

“I, uh. I took his name.” He doesn’t dare to look at Kathleen. “And I need no one to find out.”

If Kathleen had a fringe, her eyebrows would probably have disappeared behind it a while ago. Then, she snorts.

“Manuel Müller, huh. Why the hell would you think that was a good idea." Manu avoids her eyes. Shrugs awkwardly. “I mean – I’m not a lawyer. Nor a criminal. We can’t use a legally incorrect name on your travel documents or hotel details or anything of the like. What the hell were you thinking, Manu!”

She isn’t actually angry, Manu can tell. He expected this, too. But it still stings.

“I wanted to.” His voice is so small, he almost doesn’t recognize it. He hates it, he almost feels ashamed of how puny he sounds. “I wanted to!” Stronger, this time. He pulls his shoulders back, looks her straight in the eye, for once actually uses his height to underline his determination, giving him more confidence, too. He sees his it mirrored in Kathleen’s pupils, but there's desperation there, still, too. “Can you get it done?”

Kathleen deflates. Her eyes grow soft, and suddenly she’s less his superior and more the benevolent older sister.

“I’ll try to work some magic for you. I can’t promise anything, but we’re going to find a way. You go back to training now. I’m sure they already miss you, Captain.”

She stops him again when he’s already at the door. “Manu?” He turns around. “You know I have to tell the bosses, right?” He presses his lips close together. Doesn’t move. “Better prepare Thomas that you two might be invited to a meeting not so kindly soon. Just saying.”

Manu feels a smile tugging at his lips. He shrugs, offers her a nod. 

“Thanks for the warning.”

“Where have you been”, his husband hisses at him the second Manu steps out of the building. He looks concerned, but still, Manu can’t help but smile at him. It’s been four days, but it still hasn’t properly sunk in. They’re _ married_. His stomach flutters at the thought.

He pulls on his second glove, fastens the strip.

“I went to see Kathleen.”

Thomas blinks at him, clearly taken aback. “Without me?”

Manu shrugs with one shoulder, grinning to himself. “She wanted to know something about the next team council meeting. I thought why not get it over with, you know.”

A grin twists at Thomas’ lips. 

“Alright then. Proud of you, babe.”

He doesn’t ask how it went, doesn’t need to. Kathleen is a good woman. Instead, he lifts his hand, ruffling Manu's hair – leaning in, and placing a peck on Manu's cheek so quickly that you could have probably missed it even if you were standing right in front of them.

Manu feels the blood rush to his cheeks, and he ducks his head as he slips away from under his husband’s hands. They exchange a last, cheeky smile before returning to their respective training.

Manu didn’t think it was possible, but he loves him even more with every single day.

The call comes the next morning. They’re still in bed, and Thomas is the one who ends up picking up Manu’s phone cause Manu just mumbles out a dazed “huh” when he gently shakes his shoulder and blinks up at him with sleep in his eyes.

After about fifteen minutes of their chairman lecturing them, neither of the three are sure if they still need that meeting or not. Thomas has tightened his grip around Manu’s chest, and Manu has curled up on himself as well as he can, pressing closely into Thomas’ side.

Again, this is something they expected, but yet it didn’t hurt any less even in the knowledge that it was inevitable. In the end, Rummenigge hadn’t forced them to do anything, and just ended his explosion with a deep sigh, and for that, Manu is glad. He’d never experienced anything like this at the club, Rummenigge said, and there was accusation in this voice.

“You can be glad you've been appointed captains, and are two fan favourites,” he says before he hangs up, and it’s not a threat but close enough to it.

Thomas kisses the worry from Manu’s lips but Manu can feel him tremble, too. They don’t talk about it. Neither does anyone else once they return to training that day, and strangely enough, everything seems unchanged – until the next game day, at least.

When they drive to Freiburg and arrive at the team hotel, Kathleen hands them their key cards last, once everyone else already is making their way to the stairs – Manu blinks, turns his head to look at Thomas, who looks just as perplexed. They belong to the same room.

Manu stares at Kathleen wordlessly, gaping. She shrugs casually.

“No use keeping you apart, is there. You’ll always end up sleeping in the same bed, anyway. Newlyweds.” She raises her eyebrows, and her grin is teasing. “Don't stay up too late.” 

Thomas lets out a disbelieving cackle and Manu’s cheeks feel burning hot, but he lets himself be lead upstairs anyway.

They do, in fact, stay up too late, and not having to plan getting up at five to sneak back to your own room is an entirely new feeling. Manu falls asleep with his head on Thomas’ chest, Thomas’ hand in his hair and his heartbeat under his ear. He wonders when the last time was that he felt so content.

“Love you”, he manages just before he drifts away, and he can feel Thomas smile against his forehead.

It’s Niklas who spots them walking out of the same room the next morning. Luckily for them, the big defender gravely misunderstands the situation.

“Since when do we get to share rooms? Why did no one tell me?!” 

Manu quirks a smile at it. Technically, players getting single rooms is a luxury only few clubs in the Bundesliga can afford, but in reality, quite of the lot of them find themselves missing it at times. He snorts, and closes the door behind him as Thomas grabs Niklas by his arm and directs the topic towards something else as he leads him away – golf, knowing these two, but Manu has no idea when it comes to that so they might as well be talking about deep sea fishing.

Luckily no one else asks any questions, or bats an eyelid when they sit together at breakfast, sides closely pressed together

– except for Mats, of course, who still lifts his eyebrows, winking at Manu. Idiot. Manu rolls his eyes and returns to his breakfast while he feels his husband’s warmth against his side–

It’s strange, how the desire to be constantly close to Thomas has become so much more stronger since making it official. Manu feels a grin overtaking his face when Thomas takes his hand under the table, relishes when their arms brush against each other as they make their way to inspect the pitch. How he can’t help but gravitate towards his husband as they stand in the tunnels that night, a feeling of restlessness that only stops when he hears Thomas' voice behind him, feels him step in line after Manu, close enough.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Thomas whispers loudly in the humming noise of the tunnels, and Manu nods distractedly, fiddling with his armband, desperately wanting to hug him but instead pulling his shoulders back, head up straight. Eyes on the game. He doesn’t even notice the amused glance that Kathleen sends in their direction as she passes by.

Doesn’t care, when there’s Thomas' breath hitting his neck and a game to be played.

… okay, considering that it’s only Freiburg, entering the halftime break with 1:1 is not unacceptable but not exactly ideal. Manu frowns as he yanks his gloves off, doesn’t even look up when Thomas’ shoulder brushes his. The early goal they conceded wasn’t his fault, but he didn’t prevent it when he could have and it bugs him.

He doesn’t really listen to Niko’s pep talk and instead disappears to the bathroom because he really has to take a piss just shortly before he’s done. When he returns, Thomas glares at him, but the twitching of his lips belie his words.

“I hate doing your pep talks for you, you know that.” He’s much better at them that Manu, spinning them eloquently and convincingly where Manu just encourages them with firm shouts that usually fail to rouse much enthusiasm apart from the one enthused by the adrenaline running through their veins already.

Manu huffs. Rolls his eyes but feels his lips twitch into a smile. “Thanks, Thommy.”

Thomas squeezes his biceps. “No problem, love. Though you really shouldn’t disappear just like that. You are the captain, you know? The lads look up to you.”

Manu snorts. “Physically, maybe.” – but he manages a grin either way, one that his husband eagerly returns. Thomas’ hand slips lower, and suddenly it’s at his hip and Thomas snakes his arm around Manu’s waist. It feels good there, familiar. Manu sighs quietly, lifting his arm, draping it comfortably around his husband’s surprisingly strong shoulders.

David shoots them a dubious glance as he passes past them, Niklas pointedly stares at the ground. Sven shakes his head fondly as he pushes through the people. Out of all of them, only the latter knows about their relationship – none of them know about their marriage.

Even though he’s only focused on Thomas on his right, his tight grip, his comforting hand, Manu is acutely aware of what kind of image they must present. Their own little bubble, probably, so much more intimate than most of the boys ever see them. More private.

And yet, now that Manu’s new name is printed in his passport, suddenly, he doesn’t mind anyone observing them anymore. It feels challenging, almost – _ don’t anyone dare to say anything; I know my happiness, and this is where I found it. _

Thomas laughs next to him, loud and disruptive and unfitting the tense mood. It’s one of Manu's favourite noises in the world. They separate to look at each other, and Manu blinks. There’s a twinkle in Thomas’ eyes and in that moment, Manu knows what it means.

He’s so proud to be a Müller. He might have asked Kathleen to cover it up, but that’s not what he wants. If he could, he would be shouting it from rooftops, but for now, not hiding as much anymore in front of the team? It’s a damn good start.

He smiles at Thomas, reaches out for his hand with his own gloved one. Squeezes it. Some of the boys stare. He doesn’t care.

“Let’s effing do this.”

Thomas' grin grows sharp, more intentional. “Hell yeah.”

They both know they’re not only talking about the game.

**Author's Note:**

> I write FICTION about real people. None of this is intended to harm them or their reputation in any way. Please leave kudos and maybe a comment if you liked it! | [tumblr](http://manuelmueller.tumblr.com/)


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